I went down to the scary basement today to turn off the breakers to the bathroom so I could put up new fixtures. I thought while I was down there, I'd check on the decomposing rat Charlie and I left behind when we fixed the drain hose to the air conditioner.
There's just one little problem with that plan.
The dead rat is gone.
After I finished squealing, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" it occurred to me that there might be a reasonable explanation for the missing rat. So I called Charlie.
"Did you pick up that dead rat out of my basement?" I asked him.
"Hell no, I didn't! I got enough health problems as it is without pickin' up a dead rat," Charlie said.
Oh.
Then something else carried away the rat carcass.
Something big enough to carry a rat.
Or big enough to eat it.
Something wicked.
Which means that someplace in my foundation, there's a hole big enough for something wicked that carries away dead rats to get inside my house.
All together now: Ewwwwwww.
Girly Man
Charlie is home. Actually, he came home Wednesday afternoon, but I didn't get around to blogging about it until now. I've been busy hovering over him, checking his hand every couple of hours (I have gory pics if anyone would like to see them), and reminding him to take his antibiotics. He's glad I went back to work last night.
I'm worried about him. I think something might have happened to him in the hospital that turned him into a girl.
Wait. That didn't sound right.
But seriously, y'all. He's been acting kinda girly ever since he came home.
Wednesday night was not a good night at all. I know this because both of us cried. That automatically makes it a really bad night. Sending a guy home with an open wound (the surgeon didn't stitch it up because he says it'll heal better if it's open), a bunch of antibiotics and painkillers, and a booklet about MRSA that will scare the bejeebers out of anybody can be a little overwhelming. On top of all that, Charlie doesn't have health insurance or even sick leave at his job, so now he's got this big hospital bill and no money coming in to cover it. So he cried. Then I cried because he cried. Then he told me I wasn't re-bandaging his hand right and I cried some more. Finally we both sat on the couch with a box of Kleenex and cried it out while eating a whole bag of peanut butter cups. You know, because that's what girls do. Except that only one of us is a girl. I think.
Then Thursday or Friday we had a big discussion about laundry detergent. I mean, for like half an hour. He's been buying the cheap kind but now he thinks he might buy the kind I use because he likes the way his clothes smell when I wash them at my house. Besides, he says, "your soap gets my whites whiter". Seriously. He said that.
But what really sealed the deal about him becoming a girly-man was what happened last night. I called him from work to check on him and he said he couldn't talk to me right then. Why? "Because there's a really good movie on Lifetime and I don't wanna miss it." A really good movie on Lifetime?? I thought he was joking until he hung up so he could watch the movie. He texted me during a commercial to tell me that "another good movie's comin on" after that one.
Who is this guy, and what has he done with my Charlie??
I'm worried about him. I think something might have happened to him in the hospital that turned him into a girl.
Wait. That didn't sound right.
But seriously, y'all. He's been acting kinda girly ever since he came home.
Wednesday night was not a good night at all. I know this because both of us cried. That automatically makes it a really bad night. Sending a guy home with an open wound (the surgeon didn't stitch it up because he says it'll heal better if it's open), a bunch of antibiotics and painkillers, and a booklet about MRSA that will scare the bejeebers out of anybody can be a little overwhelming. On top of all that, Charlie doesn't have health insurance or even sick leave at his job, so now he's got this big hospital bill and no money coming in to cover it. So he cried. Then I cried because he cried. Then he told me I wasn't re-bandaging his hand right and I cried some more. Finally we both sat on the couch with a box of Kleenex and cried it out while eating a whole bag of peanut butter cups. You know, because that's what girls do. Except that only one of us is a girl. I think.
Then Thursday or Friday we had a big discussion about laundry detergent. I mean, for like half an hour. He's been buying the cheap kind but now he thinks he might buy the kind I use because he likes the way his clothes smell when I wash them at my house. Besides, he says, "your soap gets my whites whiter". Seriously. He said that.
But what really sealed the deal about him becoming a girly-man was what happened last night. I called him from work to check on him and he said he couldn't talk to me right then. Why? "Because there's a really good movie on Lifetime and I don't wanna miss it." A really good movie on Lifetime?? I thought he was joking until he hung up so he could watch the movie. He texted me during a commercial to tell me that "another good movie's comin on" after that one.
Who is this guy, and what has he done with my Charlie??
Hilarity
Possibly the best moment in the whole history of Twitter just occurred.
Bear with me for a bit of backstory, k?
Daniel Hudson (DHuddy41) is a pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks. He's a nice guy and one of my favorite players. This is Daniel Hudson in action:
Daniel Hudson has a dog named Buckley. This is Buckley in action:
When Buckley's mom (aka Mrs. Daniel Hudson) bought a new couch and then announced that Buckley would not be allowed to sleep on it (that's the old couch in the photo), Buckley took to Twitter to protest, creating his own account (BuxHuddy41) with the hashtag #WemmeSweepOnDaCouch to campaign for couch privileges. Buckley's supporters (and y'all know I support dogs on couches!) are known as the #RollAwoundSkwad and we #SwapPaws over small victories.
With me so far? Okay. That brings us to Tuesday night, when I was looking for something to make me laugh because, as y'all know, this has not exactly been the best week. (By the way, Charlie had surgery Monday to remove dead tissue and infection from his hand and he's still in the hospital. We now know he has an infection called MRSA, which you can read more about here, or you can just take my word for it that it's nasty, icky stuff which you would not wish on your worst enemy.) Anyhow, I may or may not have posted this photo to my Twitter feed:
Followed by this picture:
Followed by this tweet: "Oh my, the cuteness! I am in danger of RT-ing everything from EmergencyPuppy!"
Enter my friend Matthew, who I adore but who is badly in need of some silliness in his life. He's very serious and earnest. His job somehow involves handling other people's money--I think he's an investment banker or a stockbroker or something like that--and maybe if I had to do math all day I'd be serious and earnest and ever-so-slightly cranky all the time too.
Matthew (not "Matt", not ever) tweeted me: "Please don't."
I replied: "But, but--that little dog doing yoga is so, well, CUTE."
And then: "Maybe you'd prefer the cat singing a Collective Soul tune? I have that in my arsenal too."
Matthew: "All forms of animal cruelty as far as I am concerned."
Me: "I'm guessing you don't follow BuxHuddy41 either...."
Matthew: "You are correct. Nor will I even look at it."
And then something wonderful happened. Something marvelous. Something that is quite possibly the best Twitter moment ever.
Buckley Hudson entered the conversation.
Oh yes, he did.
Buckley Hudson tweeted, "Fow shame. #SomePeopowMan"
Hilarious.
Bear with me for a bit of backstory, k?
Daniel Hudson (DHuddy41) is a pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks. He's a nice guy and one of my favorite players. This is Daniel Hudson in action:
 |
| Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images North America |
Daniel Hudson has a dog named Buckley. This is Buckley in action:
 |
| Photo by Daniel Hudson |
When Buckley's mom (aka Mrs. Daniel Hudson) bought a new couch and then announced that Buckley would not be allowed to sleep on it (that's the old couch in the photo), Buckley took to Twitter to protest, creating his own account (BuxHuddy41) with the hashtag #WemmeSweepOnDaCouch to campaign for couch privileges. Buckley's supporters (and y'all know I support dogs on couches!) are known as the #RollAwoundSkwad and we #SwapPaws over small victories.
With me so far? Okay. That brings us to Tuesday night, when I was looking for something to make me laugh because, as y'all know, this has not exactly been the best week. (By the way, Charlie had surgery Monday to remove dead tissue and infection from his hand and he's still in the hospital. We now know he has an infection called MRSA, which you can read more about here, or you can just take my word for it that it's nasty, icky stuff which you would not wish on your worst enemy.) Anyhow, I may or may not have posted this photo to my Twitter feed:
 |
| Photo via Emergency Cute Stuff on Twitter |
Followed by this picture:
 |
| Photo via Emergency Cute Stuff on Twitter |
Followed by this tweet: "Oh my, the cuteness! I am in danger of RT-ing everything from EmergencyPuppy!"
Enter my friend Matthew, who I adore but who is badly in need of some silliness in his life. He's very serious and earnest. His job somehow involves handling other people's money--I think he's an investment banker or a stockbroker or something like that--and maybe if I had to do math all day I'd be serious and earnest and ever-so-slightly cranky all the time too.
Matthew (not "Matt", not ever) tweeted me: "Please don't."
I replied: "But, but--that little dog doing yoga is so, well, CUTE."
And then: "Maybe you'd prefer the cat singing a Collective Soul tune? I have that in my arsenal too."
Matthew: "All forms of animal cruelty as far as I am concerned."
Me: "I'm guessing you don't follow BuxHuddy41 either...."
Matthew: "You are correct. Nor will I even look at it."
And then something wonderful happened. Something marvelous. Something that is quite possibly the best Twitter moment ever.
Buckley Hudson entered the conversation.
Oh yes, he did.
Buckley Hudson tweeted, "Fow shame. #SomePeopowMan"
Hilarious.
Careful What You Wish For
Charlie came home from work early on Friday because of rain. So early, in fact, that I was still sound asleep. He made fun of me because I was still sleeping at 10 a.m. and I made fun of him because he says that half the day is gone by 10 a.m. He stood by my bed and said, "Get-up-get-up-get-up-get-up!" until finally I couldn't take it anymore and I did, in fact, get up. Grumbly and unwilling, but I did get up. While I was eating my bowl of Lucky Charms, I said to him, "I wish sometimes that you would slow down a little bit and just take it easy instead of always workin' your butt off every day."
Welllll.....be careful what you wish for.
Later in the day on Friday, Charlie showed me a little blister on the web of his right hand. Neither one of us thought much about it, although he did say that it hurt a bit. Saturday when he came home from work his hand was slightly swollen. This morning he slept in a little and I slept in a lot, since I had to work night shift. "Don't wake me up for anything," I said. He threw a pillow at me. About noon he shook me awake. "I know you said not to wake you up, but..." He showed me his hand. "I think I need to go to the hospital." His hand was swollen to about twice its normal size and the web of his hand was red and hot to the touch. He said he was freezing (he must've had fever), and when he put a hoodie on over his t-shirt, I gasped when I saw the underside of his arm. There was a red streak snaking up from his wrist, along his forearm, across the crook of his elbow, and under his arm to his armpit.
Later at the ER, when Charlie showed that to the nurse, the guy said, "Uh-oh, that is not good." The doctor agreed, so Charlie's in the hospital now. It's a staph infection, probably from a spider bite. Charlie's on IV antibiotics and will be in the hospital until the infection clears up. The doctor says he's not sure how long that will be. In the morning they'll decide if they need to do surgery.
I wanted Charlie to take it easy for a few days...but this is not exactly what I meant when I wished for that.
Welllll.....be careful what you wish for.
Later in the day on Friday, Charlie showed me a little blister on the web of his right hand. Neither one of us thought much about it, although he did say that it hurt a bit. Saturday when he came home from work his hand was slightly swollen. This morning he slept in a little and I slept in a lot, since I had to work night shift. "Don't wake me up for anything," I said. He threw a pillow at me. About noon he shook me awake. "I know you said not to wake you up, but..." He showed me his hand. "I think I need to go to the hospital." His hand was swollen to about twice its normal size and the web of his hand was red and hot to the touch. He said he was freezing (he must've had fever), and when he put a hoodie on over his t-shirt, I gasped when I saw the underside of his arm. There was a red streak snaking up from his wrist, along his forearm, across the crook of his elbow, and under his arm to his armpit.
Later at the ER, when Charlie showed that to the nurse, the guy said, "Uh-oh, that is not good." The doctor agreed, so Charlie's in the hospital now. It's a staph infection, probably from a spider bite. Charlie's on IV antibiotics and will be in the hospital until the infection clears up. The doctor says he's not sure how long that will be. In the morning they'll decide if they need to do surgery.
I wanted Charlie to take it easy for a few days...but this is not exactly what I meant when I wished for that.
That Is The Question
Because of all that, I'm thinking of putting beadboard on the walls. I need a second opinion though. (And a third and a fourth, and so on...) Do y'all think it would look okay? Or do you think it would chop up the area and make it look even smaller than it already is? The other thing I'm thinking is that the light blue turned out lighter and more baby-blue on the walls than I thought it would, so putting white beadboard in there might make it look even more like a baby's room.
So. Beadboard? Or no beadboard?
Yard of the Month
The Garden Club will be over any minute now to award me Yard of the Month.
It's a good thing Charlie mowed yesterday and I stacked up the bricks and cinder blocks so neatly.
Too bad the ladies of the Garden Club don't have any place to sit and have a nice cold glass of sweet tea...since Flint came over and took the patio out this morning.
I thought he was coming over tomorrow. Imagine my surprise when a Bobcat showed up in my yard. At 9:00 in the morning. I was sound asleep until I heard the guys yelling to each other over the noise of the Bobcat.
Flint took out the sidewalk too. The new one will line up with the back door. This makes me exceedingly happy.
They uncovered a very old sidewalk that led from the original back door (which is now the kitchen door) to the cistern (which is now covered by a small patio). It makes me a little sad that this will be covered back up.
In fact, a lot of this mess will be covered up with concrete when I get a new patio. That will be sometime next week. I think. Unless a cement truck shows up tomorrow.
I thought he was coming over tomorrow. Imagine my surprise when a Bobcat showed up in my yard. At 9:00 in the morning. I was sound asleep until I heard the guys yelling to each other over the noise of the Bobcat.
Flint took out the sidewalk too. The new one will line up with the back door. This makes me exceedingly happy.
In fact, a lot of this mess will be covered up with concrete when I get a new patio. That will be sometime next week. I think. Unless a cement truck shows up tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)