Ode to O. Possum
Departed from this life January 18th or so, and still resting at the east end of the alley where he was mercilessly struck down in the prime of his life by a passing motorist, Mr. O. Possum. Mr. Possum was well-known throughout the Old Neighborhoods National Register Historic District as a frequent and unwanted visitor to the front porches and trash cans of the neighborhood's homes and was rumored to be a possum of interest in the death of Mr. Blackbeard, a much-beloved cat of the district. By his uniform unpleasantness and general ugliness of character, Mr. Possum won the unanimous disgust and near hatred of all who came in contact with him. During his last moments, he appeared to be aware of his impending fate as his trademark snarl is now forever imprinted upon his lips. Though called so unexpectedly from this life, and in the midst of his trash-raiding, we who knew him are consoled by the fact that never again will the call "Here, kitty, kitty" be answered by Mr. Possum's hissing. Our loss is Hell's infinite gain, in that Mr. Possum shall surely spend all eternity posted at its gates.