The Liberty Ultimatum

I caught the three cats sitting together in the kitchen.  Understand that the three of them are together, as a general rule, only when food is involved.  This must be a very important meeting of the minds.  I tiptoed around the corner where they couldn't see me and listened in.

Marie:  Thank you both for meeting with me on such short notice.  As you are aware, we have a dire situation that must be contained, and immediately.

Christopher:  Situation?  What situation?

Louis:  She means the dog that Momma brought home.

Marie:  I have repeatedly advised you, Louis, that the human is not our "momma", as you call her.  She is in fact our staff and should be treated as such.

Louis:  But she loves us.  She calls us her fur babies and buys us furry mice and treats and fake milk.

Marie:  She is merely doing that which is required of her.  Now, to the business at hand—that dog the staff calls Liberty.  We have wasted enough time already, so I shall state my position plainly:  Liberty must be eliminated.

Christopher:  Hunh?  What does that mean?

Marie:  Desperate times call for desperate measures, my simple-minded friend.  We cats rule this house.  Our hold over the heart and mind of our staff must not be diluted by the continued presence of this interloper.

Christopher:  I still don't get it.  Use little words, Marie.

Louis:  She wants to kill the dog, Chrissie!

Christopher:  Oh...that's so mean.  Momma would not like that at all, not one little bit.  She would be sad.

Louis:  Yeah, can't we all just get along?

Marie:  No!  Compromise is not an option!  We will not bow, we shall not break!  Are we cats, or are we mice?!

Christopher:  Well, I'm not really sure on that last part....

Louis:  I think Liberty is nice.  For a dog, I mean.  We should give her a chance.  Maybe we could all get together, the four of us, and share ideas on how to get along.  Momma could mediate.  I vote that we try aggressive diplomacy first, Marie.  We should really work on building peace among us and violence should be our last resort.

Marie:  Who are you, Jimmy Freakin' Carter?!

Louis:  Hey, I like him.  And I'm just sayin'...

Marie:  Liberty is the Devil!  The Devil Herself is right in this house!

Louis:  Okay, Hugo Chavez.  Whatever.

Christopher:  Liberty's kibble tastes really yummy.

Marie:  Fools!  Imbeciles!  I get nowhere with the two of you.  I must take matters into my own paws!

To Be Continued